An opening might be, "I get the sense that it's hard for you to let your son really become his own person.
I wish you wouldn't feel like you're losing him to me, but that you're just developing a new relationship with him that also includes me." A warning: don't do this without your boyfriend's support.
Otherwise, it's probably not going to change much and you'll just grow to resent her even more.
Q: Is it ever wise to confront his mother directly? Mandel: If you and he are just beginning to develop a relationship, I wouldn't advise taking on his mother.
If you're dating a guy like this, I recommend you cut your losses fast unless he gets help or becomes proactive about growing up.
Otherwise, he may never let go of mom, or worse yet, he'll turn you into his mom and expect the same from you.
Try to approach it with empathy and a sense of humor -- exhibiting these qualities tends to be the most effective when you want a man to change his behavior.
Being angry, demanding, pushy, aggressive or judgmental will probably send him right back into the arms of someone who's never that way with him, and you know just who that is!If you've been together for a while and you're serious about one another, however, if she's intrusive or disrespectful of you or your relationship, it might be time to invite her to lunch for a little chat.I'd keep it rather casual, so as to not be threatening.Q: What would you recommend a woman do if it seems her guy is the one with the issues -- meaning, Mama actually seems quite normal? Mandel: If this is the case, odds are that during his childhood she created that unhealthy dependency between them, but when he reached adulthood, she was ready to let go, yet he wasn't quite ready to leave the nest emotionally (and possibly even physically).Ultimately, he still expects mom to rescue him and take care of his every need, even though she's not interested in doing so.Q: When evaluating the health of a guy's relationship with his mom, what do you recommend a woman look for? Mandel: A guy with a healthy relationship with his mother can say "no" to her, make choices and decisions on his own, have an intimate relationship with a woman without fearing his mom will be jealous or intrude in his relationship, and likes it when mom is busy and enjoying her own life with or without a spouse.