MORE: 5 Things That Turn Men Off to Relationships Hollywood loves to spread this idea that if someone rejects you, you should just push harder and harder and harder and suddenly, some magic event will happen and you’ll end up together. It’s better I give you a straight-up reality check because reality can be pretty cold when it comes to this kind of thing.The good news is that there’s a way to avoid this and possibly turn things around. Not in a dramatic, mean-spirited or punishing sort of way. I have to imagine the sting is just as bad for a girl when she hears that message from a guy friend she has feelings for. Well, even if your guy isn’t “damaged goods,” I hope you read the last section because backing off is a truly be OK with being just friends right now.The reality of relationships is that for them to move forward, they need to deepen over time.
You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see. So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends?Or worse, why (when you told him how you felt about him) does he say, “I really love you.Letting go and just being friends can be something you just do silently within yourself. What I mean is don’t talk like you’re just friends, but then in your mind plan your wedding day and the love story that led to it.It doesn’t need to be a talk or event – you just simply decide you’re going to shift your attention onto appreciating him for who he is and the fact that you have someone who you enjoy having in your life. RECOMMENDED QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life? I remember back in high school when I had a devastating crush on my best female friend. Don’t cry and moan to your friends about how it’s not fair and how it shouldn’t be this way. It’s not easy, but if you can’t truly do this, you can kiss your chances of getting out of the friend zone goodbye. So now that you’re just friends and you’re cool with it, it’s time for a personal reinvention. I know some of you in the audience are about to throw something at me and scream, “Why should **I** have to change for him? I’m not changing for anyone, that’s so desperate and lame.” OK, fine. But this article is called “How to Get Out of the Friend Zone” and not “How to Do Everything You’ve Been Doing All Along and Magically Get Different Results.” See my point?The more you try to force reality, the more it’s going to feel like pressure to the guy friend and the more he’s going to shrink away from you and guard himself.
He’ll stop feeling like he can trust you and he’ll start feeling like he’s a target for your own personal conquest.
Of course, you could just decide to give up and find another guy that appreciates you exactly as you are. So let’s talk about the game-plan (and I’m going to warn you, I’m not sugarcoating this – it’s a blunt, no-punches-pulled guide)… It’s not fair, we didn’t choose our biological/sexual makeup – it is what it is.
The sooner that you can accept that guys respond to the physical appearance of women, the sooner you can use it to your advantage. in case your head is not computing that I’m telling you to date other men in an article about getting out of the friend zone with your guy friend…
This can happen for a few reasons: 1) The new girl he jumps in with completely takes him out of that “mode” or “funk” he was caught up in.
See, while you were listening to him sulk about his broken heart and smoothing his hair, new girl appeared out of nowhere as a limited-edition item. But the new girl who just entered the picture is completely fresh – he can act like whomever he wants to appear to be and she’ll accept that that’s who he is.
The less he actually knows about her, the more he can fill in the gaps with his own fantasy.